Chapter 2 - Answers

Answers

Ignorance is bliss. Is it though? Is not knowing really better than knowing? Depends on what I'm talking about, doesn't it? If I am talking about a close personal loved on, you'd jump at the opportunity to know anything about them. But if I tell you that the human body produces 40000 litres of spit in a lifetime which is enough to fill 500 bathtubs, it is a different story. 

I speak from personal experiences when I say that sometimes not knowing something is absolutely wonderful. And that is not just because of the feeling of freedom that ignorance provides. But it also considers the fact that sometimes you come across things that are devastatingly painful. Then again, sometimes finding out the truth is also an incredibly liberating experience. So which is it? To know something and spend your whole wishing that you didn't? Or to spend time looking for answers to questions you have been asking for a long time? Also, is it weird that in a chapter named "Answers" there are over 7 questions in the first two paragraphs?

Truth be told, even I don't know. There are too many variables to be considered behind every answer. Asking the right question, at the right time, at the right place, to the right person, in an appropriate situation, framing the question properly if the person is a grammar Nazi, choosing a medium of communication and most importantly, do I ask the question in the first place? That is a whole other story, because considering the repercussions of asking a question can sometimes outrank all the other queries. 

If we go deep into the analysis of the answers we look for, more often than not they are answers to "WHY" or "HOW." And mostly it is the WHY which is the most painful. Or sometimes the most elating. Finding out about the sheer nonchalance of a person, as opposed to the feeling of pure love. One of them is the scorching heat of a summer afternoon, while the other is the pleasant pitter-patter of raindrops on your windowsill on a cold evening. And that is the problem with answers. The sheer degree of uncertainty on which they stand. And the fact that sometimes, even one word can take it from one side to the other is the reason why ignorance is bliss. 

Moreover, this ignorance is much better than silence. When they said, "Sometimes silence is the best answer" they forgot to consider the over-assuming, overthinking doofus that I am for whom no answer means that every answer is possible. And every outcome of every answer is worse than the last one. Furthermore, a situation where every answer is possible, all answers are equally meaningless. No answer is not an answer. It is the opening for another new series of equally distressing questions. And in today's day and age, questions, answers and silence exist not only face to face, but also in the world of social media. The power of an unanswered text is enough to send people in a frenzy. And the misinterpretations and misunderstandings are powerful enough to end relationships and end careers. 

So, why are answers so feared? Why is it that we analyse so much before asking something? Because, sometimes an answer which gives incomprehensible pain at the age of 17 can end up being a life lesson that helps you when you are 37. And sometimes the answer which you get at 37, could have changed your life had you asked the right question when you were 17. That is the power answers hold.

So what do we do? Do we ask the question and give the controls of our whole behavior and feelings in the hands of the person at the other end? Do we take a risk of such a magnitude where an incomplete, incoherent and indecisive answer is not only possible, but expected from some people? Do we wrap it up and tie a neat little bow, even if the knot puts immense pressure on you? Or do we move on? Do we leave it as the mess it is? It's up to you. It may not feel like it by reading this chapter, but the power of choice lies in your hand.

Believe it or not, you get to choose the people who you give the power to. You decide the deserving ones. The ones deserving a question. The ones deserving an honest, mature conversation. You get to decide the people whose words you take to heart and the people whose words you take to the dumpster. 

How? How do we decide the people worthy of answers? And how do we deal with the exceptions? Well, it's a rather simple answer - Chapter 3.

~ Udit Gor.