If life
gives you lemons, make lemonade.
We’ve all
heard this positive spin, haven’t we? Life has given us lemons, a metaphor for
problems, and we are to use these lemons to make something good, that is
lemonade. Use this rather mundane fruit to make something refreshing and nice
for yourself, or for others if you are a nice person. But this quote is rather
confusing, because it takes a fruit as innocent as lemon and makes it a bad
thing - a symbol for problems. Which is not good, because it is not the lemon’s
fault, is it? Lemon, in itself, is a normal, even beneficial fruit used by us
humans in a lot of things, be it food or drinks. Hell, we also use lemon water
to wash our hands in upscale restaurants. Lemon Yellow is a rather famous color
and fresh lemons also have a shelf life of 2 months if kept in the
refrigerator. So why, of all things, is lemon used as a description of the
hardships we face in our life?
The first
big mistake of this quote is the word “if” in the beginning. There is no “if.”
Life will give you lemons and there’s no avoiding that. And secondly, one
of the biggest things we’ve all missed in this quote is that all life has given
you is lemons. You need water, sugar and also some salt to make lemonade. Just
lemons are going to give you a very acidic, concentrated lemon juice that is
not only going to make your throat sore, it doesn’t taste very good. I should
know. I had it once, and reminiscing that taste still makes me want to puke.
But no. Life has given you lemons, and lemonade you must make. Why? Why does
every problem, every hardship, every bump in the road need to have a positive
spin on it? Sometimes, a problem is just a problem. Sometimes, there is no
positive spin on stuff.
And that is
my topic for today. We, as a society, have a defined set of rules and response
to any problem we face in our lives. We have used these rules for eons and
while they have been effective at times, what bothers me is the rigidity in
moving away from these set of rules, when they don’t work. Life gave you
lemons, you made lemonade, and then life gave you more lemons. Now what do you
do? You can not keep making lemonade your entire life, because, let’s be
honest, life is going to keep giving you lemons. Not once is life going to take
pity on you and say, “you’ve been rather good at making lemonade. Here, have
some mangoes.” Nope, it doesn’t work that way, because life has an endless
stock of lemons and the only respite is coming up with a solution that is more
effective and efficient than making lemonade. Besides, life is not always going
to give you lemons. Sometimes, it will throw them at your head. Or dump
a whole 5 kg bag of lemons on you. And it is not always going to give you
lemons. Sometimes, there will be watermelons, hurled at your head. And
sometimes there will be pineapples. And their spikes hurt, if thrown at you. Life
has variety, and so should we.
So, let’s
start with something we’ve all experienced – people close to you leaving. First
of all, that is not a lemon, that is a bowling ball heading straight toward
your groin at full speed. You’ll do well if you can even catch it before it
lands the first blow. And secondly, how can you put a positive spin on this?
“Yay, a person I spent so much time with on a daily basis has left me! I now
have so much free time to be sad and mope!” No, when life gives you these
lemons, the only option you have is to get mad at life. Nobody wants
these damn lemons.
I’m not
saying making lemonade is a bad solution. Sometimes, that’s the best solution.
And in this negative, despondent world, a positive spin goes a long way. But
the key word is “sometimes.” You can’t keep trying to make a lemonade if life
has given you an orange. That’s just dumb. If you do that, life is just going
to keep giving you lemons as a reward for your stupidity. But the issue is
identifying. Identifying and classifying stuff into oranges, lemons and bowling
balls. And life is so cunning, sometimes it will send a mango disguised as a
lemon. And vice versa. And you know, we have had problems in our life since we
were kids. Since 2nd grade. The only thing is, those were math
problems, these are real problems. But the way of approaching both of them is
the same.
Whenever we
had statement sums to solve, the first thing we were told to do is to read the
problem peacefully and quietly, taking as much time as can be taken. That’s
what is to be done here, to make sure you can gather all the information
necessary to understand what we are dealing with. The second step was to write
down all we know. Again, same thing. Analyze all we know about the situation
and make a note of it. Third, identify what is to be done – add, subtract,
multiply or divide. Similarly, think about what to do with the situation. Do we
stay, put in more efforts, leave or talk to the parties concerned, if any? And
lastly, and most importantly, check what you have done before you move on to
the next question. Contemplate about what has been done and what more can be
done then and there. Because looking back at this when you’re 75 and thinking
about what else you could have done is only going to bring you regret, and
regret is one of the worst human emotions. Especially when there’s nothing you
can do about it except sit, think and wonder how things would have ended
differently if you’d done one thing in a better way.
That got
dark, didn’t it? Well, all my blogs do. I was told recently to make them a bit
more lighthearted and I tried, honestly. But desolation and despondence breed
content in a way delight and delectation can not even hope to. And speaking of
the topic I addressed, it is the same thing. We over emphasize lemons so much
at times that we forget to see that they may even be mangoes, disguised as
lemons. We live in a world so dark, thinking so much about the hurt that’s been
caused to us, the damage we’ve suffered and the pain we’ve endured, that when a
ray of sunshine shows up to brighten the surroundings, we lock ourselves in the
dark and dingy dungeons we’ve built for ourselves. We’re used to the dark and
the sadness. So much so that all we’ve been doing is making lemonade like
machines because that is what we’ve been told to do, and because we’ve stopped
relying on the creative, problem solving part of us.
So, yeah.
Unless life hands you water and sugar, too, your lemonade is going to suck. But
maybe that is why life doesn’t hand you sugar and water. Because it doesn’t
want you to make lemonade. Maybe it wants you to take those lemons, cut them in
half and squeeze them in life’s eyes. Maybe it wants you to freeze them and
throw them back at life as hard as you can. Or maybe get mad. Yell at life,
saying, “I don’t want these damn lemons! I demand to speak to your manager!!”
Or maybe keep them, because, hey! Free lemons! And if nothing else works and
you have no choice but to make lemonade, make lots of it, sell it for a profit
and buy an assault rifle. See if life makes the same mistake again.
Well, that’s
all for now. Alphabetically going, the next topic would be from the letters M
or N, and while the epiphany for this struck me out of nowhere, writing it
wasn’t as easy as making lemonade. And that is why suggestions are welcome,
criticisms are slightly less welcome, and I look forward to seeing y’all in the
next one. Until then, stay safe and remember –
WHEN life
gives you lemons, do whatever the hell you want with them.
~ Udit Gor.
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